But we have a lot in common too. Is it nature? Is it fate? Or is it some
combination of things I can’t explain?
Whatever the reason, we enjoy sharing these special connections.
We LOVE experimenting
with hair and clothes. I recall all
my crazy hair styles and outfits from my youth as I watch my daughter follow
that path with her own exploration. I
have become the hair model for many of her efforts. We also found her
a hair model doll which I would have loved to have when I was a girl. Her style is a bit more dance diva where mine
was eclectic model. But our goal to use our hair and clothes as a means of expression
is the same. I chuckled in appreciation
recently when I saw she had used scarves to create a long thick braid tied around her
high pony tail. We make a funny sight as
she will happily do my hair in all place including public ones like a basketball game.
We value peace and inclusion at a cellular level. Leyla and I
both want to make people feel welcome and included. We like to have everyone
get along; whether it be family or friends. This is often easier said than
done. When our efforts aren't successful, we take it personally. We then talk about how the other person might have viewed the situation and what we could do different next time.
We ADORE animals. We love them, whether it be our beautiful papillions,
our conure, the cats that wander through our yard, or fish in our pond. I had a zoo's worth of stuffed animals of all kinds as a child and Leyla has topped me. There is barely room for her little body in her bed. We watch animals shows on TV. On safari in Kenya, we were both enthralled with getting to jump into the scenes with these most amazing creatures in real life (except for the time when the monkeys came to "share" our hot
chocolate or the lioness seemed like she was going to "join" us in our vehicle because we got too close to her and her baby).
We strive to
interact above our linear years. I
was called wise beyond my years as a kid. I
enjoyed adult conversations and hanging out with older, either in years or life
experience, people and exploring deep topics. This desire is
heightened for Leyla as the youngest with quite the gap between her and her brothers. She also has had to make sense of a complex
life situation which I think has increased her desire to gain insight into the
WHY of human choices and behaviors.
Dancing makes us
happy. Somehow moving to music always made me feel free and fluid and like anything was possible. I see
the same for Leyla although she has physical gifts I never did as she demonstrated when
she showed me the coffee grinder in motion after her first hip hop class. A dance party with the Echo playing our
favorite tunes is a great bonding time for us (and I am sure a good opportunity to chuckle for anyone watching).
We laugh with abandon.
Laughter releases all this joy. I find
it infectious and great anecdote to when there is nothing left to say, either
because we are joyful, mad or sad -- and words are wholly inadequate. We laugh
together at all the silliness we see, to get out of a funk, to release the emotions of a hard talk or experience. A long tight hug after is extra special.
We sense we are
destined for something and feel the weight of that responsibility. I didn’t
know what or why but I thought there was something I was supposed to
do which led me to found Open Hearts Big Dreams Fund to help kids in Ethiopia. I am still not quite
sure what else but I still have that feeling.
I knew Leyla shared it when I saw her choose “So you want to be
president” to watch over and over. And when she shared her aspirations, the literal brother quickly pointed, “You can’t because you were not born here.” Without missing a beat, she said, “Then I
will be president of Ethiopia.”
We own our power.
Autonomy is important to me along
with making my choices and forging my path even if they aren't the traditional or expected. When
Leyla was 2-3, her eldest brother was teasing her. I saw her pull over a stool and climb on
it. She stood up so she could look him
in the eye. She then pointed her little finger in his face and told him emphatically, “You are not Mom. You are not the Truth. And you and not the boss of me!!” He fell over laughing at her serious face and
tone so she added, “And this is NOT funny!”
I was awed by that statement which packed so much into a few
short sentences. Her dead serious passionate delivery made it even more powerful. I have shared the story a few times,
sometimes in earshot of Leyla. When she
was “great kid” at school, she wanted me to tell that story for the piece where parents provide a little of their insight which surprised me a little.
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| And we are the only two in the family who love sushi -- selfie at a favorite local place |
So Happy Last One Digit Birthday, my beautiful, inside and
out, daughter. I look forward to
continuing to learn from our differences and to our similarities! You have enriched and brightened my life
beyond words.
